Unforeseen Circumstances
by JoMiSm
Summary: ...lead to the Avengers camping out in the woods. Yay! Well, not yay because they're stranded but yeah, Tony tries to make the best of it and Natasha's awesome so what can go wrong? Clintasha is implied. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_**Hey! So, yeah, this is kinda 'trending' at the moment (I guess you could say), so I decided that I wanted to do one. The thing is...**_

_**I HAVE NEVER BEEN CAMPING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I LIVE IN THE SOUTH NOW ISN'T THAT JUST SAD I KNOW SOB**_

_**so anyways, my attempt based upon the previous stories that I have read and upon stories that I have heard about camping. Hope you enjoy. :)**_

_**GOSH DARN IT AFTER I WROTE THIS I SAVED THEN WROTE HALF OF THE STORY THEN CLICKED THE SAVE BUTTON AND IT TURNS OUT MY WIFI WAS OUT SO NONE OF IT BUT THE AUTHORS NOTE SAVED FLIPPIDYDOODAHDAY RAAAAWR UUUUUGH DSKJ:FLKJSOIEFHIH:FOIAWHS**_

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Six miserable looking figures trudged along in the twilight that was already cold. If you didn't look too closely, you wouldn't notice anything strange about them-but if you _did_, there was a _lot_ to notice. Like the fact that one of them had a built in nightlight, or that one of them was _huge_ and looked like a shampoo model, or that the little woman that was clutching something was, in fact, clutching a gun. But no cars drove by to take them out of their misery-did I mention that it was raining? Yep, it was raining, but not a downpour; just enough that they couldn't get dry-and so they trudged on.

Some bad information had gotten the entire team into this situation; their pickup had been told not to come by an enemy hacker and the Avengers had been met at the metaphorical front door with guns in hand. They'd won because they had Natasha and Clint, who had come to always expect this outcome since they'd been working on stuff like this since forever. They'd come prepared and taken the enemy down without the slightest bit of shock, but they could not, however, patch the damaged line to SHIELD. So they were stuck.

They were miles and miles and miles from civilization, so they knew that depending upon others for help was out. They had no service on their phones. Then, it'd started raining and they had started losing daylight and things went from bad to worse, so the team turned to Natasha and Clint, who still maintained their calm.

'We should try to find some clearing that I can set these up in,' Natasha had said, reaching into a side pocket and taking out two very small canisters.

'And those are...?' Tony had questioned.

'Tents.' Natasha had said as though it were perfectly obvious.

'...Of course, you would have tents.' Tony had muttered. How did that woman do it?

So, they'd started walking. Forty-five minutes later, that is where we find our Avengers-still walking.

"Natashaaaa," the human night-light whined, "When are we going to find a spottttt?"

"I dunno." Natasha replied dryly. "Let me consult my amazing map of the unmarked roads of this random tiny town in the middle of nowhere."

"It wouldn't surprise me if you had one." Tony said. She had tents. In her pocket. TENTS. IN HER POCKET. Natasha left that without reply and looked at Clint when he stopped to investigate something.

"Might've found something." Clint said. The entire team hopefully turned around, frowning in unison at the small deer trail that Clint had pointed out. They were pleasantly surprised, for the first time that day, when a quick pulling aside of some branches revealed a small clearing. It wasn't big, it wasn't pretty, but it was enough. Natasha and Clint checked the safety of the surrounding area and found that there were no dead branches overhead, so it was good enough for them.

"YAY TASHA SET UP YOUR TENTS AND DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE LIKE SOME MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR MAGIC-Y POCKET OF WONDER?" Tony yelled, happy that they'd FINALLY be able to sit down and stop walking.

"No. No, I do not." Natasha said, taking out the canisters and motioning for them to move back. While Tony pouted about the lack of S'mores materials, Natasha pulled a string on one of the canisters and tossed it like a grenade. She did the same for the other while the first tent was midair and, where there was previously a small, empty clearing, there were now two smallish tents and about half of the clearing left. The tents were actually meant for one person each, that much was obvious, but the team was in no position to complain.

Tony clapped. "MAGIC!"

Bruce stepped forward, around Thor and Steve, to see what he could do to help. Natasha and Clint dished out chores, and everyone but themselves was deemed useless and sent for firewood while Natasha and Clint looked in their pockets to see what they had brought that would help. All but Tony came back a few minutes later toting some slightly-damp-but-usable firewood and were astonished to see what they'd pulled out already-and they weren't even through!

"Umm... we're well protected from wildlife?" Steve said, eyeballing the impressive pile of guns, ammo, knives, arrows, and things of that nature.

"WE HAVE FOOD!" Boomed Thor, looking at the few energy bars that the assassins had between them.

"Oh, you have medical supplies," Bruce said, breathing a sigh of relief. He was sure that some of them were a bit beat up after the battle, and the basic painkillers (like, Aleve basic, not anything super good), gauze, and tiny sewing kit looked like they would come in handy.

The one thing that they were missing, however, were the supplies to light a fire. Things were looking pretty hopeless when Natasha proceeded to tug off her left boot. Everyone, even Barton, was puzzled-but not when she yanked at the sole and the one thing that everyone wanted to see the most fell out-a lighter! (Along with a small knife and a small explosive pack.)*

Clint was astounded-he hadn't even known that that secret compartment had existed-and crushed Natasha into a hug. "You just became my favorite person in the world." he declared.

"I was already your favorite person in the world." Natasha said, taking the lighter, shoving Clint off of her, and tearing off a bit of medical gauze. As she shoved the materials at Clint to start a fire, the thought occurred to her that Tony wasn't there. "Where's-" Her sentence was cut off by a girlish man-scream coming from their left.

Steve jumped into action. "Thor, Natasha, with me. Clint, Bruce, stay here. We'll be back in five minutes-if not, come for us." Steve commanded. No one questioned him and they hurried toward the sound, Steve borrowing one of Natasha's weapons. His shield wasn't too handy in the woods.

It took them a couple of minutes, but Thor stumbled upon Tony a moment later. "I HAVE FOUND THE MAN OF IRON!" Thor declared. He was instantly shushed by a stock-still Tony.

"No... Sudden... Movements..." he breathed, looking, terrified, over the Asgardian's shoulder. Steve and Natasha were not far behind the Asgardian, both making little noise at all.

"What? What is it, Stark?" Steve asked. Tony pointed and they all turned around.

The.  
Biggest.  
Spider.  
In.  
The.  
UNIVERSE.

was perched there.

SHREE! SHREE! SHREE!

And not only was it perched there. It was HISSING at them.

SHREEEE! SHREEE! SHREEE!

They. Are. Dead.

Steve froze; those things, no matter what decade, were always creepy. Thor looked puzzledly at the creepy little fuzzy eight-legged thing. Everyone's eyes were on the spider, which is why they all jumped about a foot when BANG! BANG! BANG! The spider disintegrated at the wrong end of Natasha's gun. They turned to her warily. She stood there examining her gun calmly.

"How do you always manage to get into these situations, Stark?" she asked seriously.

He completely ignored her remark and nearly bowled her over with an enormous oh-my-god-you-saved-me-from-the-evil-demon-in-the-shape-of-a-spider bear hug. "YOU SAVED MY LIIIIIIFE!"

"It's just a spider. Chill." she said, trying to brush him off of her shoulder. He continued to cling to her, a new thought in his mind.

"WHAT IF IT HAS SIBLINGS THAT WANT REVENGE?" he asked, terrified.

That is why the group came back to the campsite in one giant trembling pack, Natasha standing calmly but irritatedly in the middle. Clint and even Brucie tried to contain their giggles at the looks of terror upon their faces. Clint raised an eyebrow at Natasha.

"Giant spider. Paranoia. Chickens that I work with." She explained shortly.

"Ahh." Clint said.

"Okay... You can _let go _now." Natasha said. Steve, who was huddling (without actually touching Tasha for the sake of politeness) on the fringe of the pack, stepped away. Thor and Tony, however, either could not or would not let go. Thor, on the way back, had been filled in by Tony on the evilness that is the spider and he clung in a Tony-like fashion to Natasha as well. Natasha sighed. "Oh, look, a spider." Natasha said, pointing beside her foot. The men were instantly on the other side of the clearing, never mind the fact that the spider was apparently invisible. Too easy.

They were interrupted by a triumphant whoop from Clint, crouching beside a tiny flame. He blew on it, encouraging it to grow, and the others gathered around him. The tiny spark soon turned to...well, I can't say 'merry blaze' because that would be a lie, but it was certainly better than the cold now-nighttime. The group huddled together around the fire. Tony divvied up the energy bars. There weren't enough for everyone to have one, so Natasha and Clint selflessly decided not to have one and no one even noticed, that's how much attention the good deed drew.

Tony deserves an award for his efforts at making it a good time. He declared "Scary story time! Natashalie, you first."

Natasha started to refuse, but Tony didn't take 'no' for an answer. Natasha sighed. "Fine." she said. "Once upon a time, there was a spider. It killed you. The end." Natasha said in a dull voice.

"Boo. Worst ever." Tony complained, though he was, on some level, afraid that a giant spider was going to come from the forest for revenge and carry him away to his doom.

"Can I try?" Steve said. Tony nodded his assent...and Steve proceeded to tell the scariest tale in the history of campfire stories. Ghosts. Murder. Bloody axes. The whole nine yards. It was a legitimate scary campfire story that left Tony quaking in his metal boots. (Figuratively. He'd turned the suit into the briefcase a long time ago, before they'd started walking. It was very damaged; couldn't even fly.)

"Holy. Crap. How are you so good at telling stories?" Tony asked, astonished. Bruce and Thor looked equally surprised at this and Clint was just positively impressed.

Steve shrugged bashfully. "I used to go to Boy Scout meetings. They'd tell scary stories and you were a bad sport if you didn't join in."

Of course it would be an all-American reason and not some juicy secret like he was a secret ax murderer. Sigh.

Time passed and it was about eleven thirty when everyone decided that bed was sounding really good to them at the moment. They had been through a lot that day, to be fair. However, there was a slight problem. Two one-person tents. For two reasons, it was decided that two should go in each tent: the tents were fairly generous and two could squeeze in if necessary, and also the fact that it was cold. Awkward body heat is better than nothing.

Twas decided that a big dude and a little dude should share each tent and Natasha and Clint completely refused to take one. Every single man there had gentlemanly thoughts at that moment in time and it felt wrong to take the nice little cozy tent from Natasha. However, Natasha insisted that she was Russian, cold was just a myth to her, and they should shut up and take the gift before she hurt them. When put that way, the tents seemed like a nice idea. So, Steve and Brucie got shoved in a tent together and Thor and Tony got shoved in the other one.

The awkwardess in Steve/Bruce's tent was very obvious, so they just scootched to opposite sides of the tent (though that actually put only about foot of room between them) and tried to just fall asleep as quickly as possible. Tony and Thor's tent, however, was anything but awkward. Thor failed to see that that was weird and Tony simply had no sense of shame. Thor, snoring, used Tony as a teddy bear and Tony, who is the heaviest sleeper ever, had no clue that he was substituting for a fuzzy toy.

Natasha and Clint chose their spot to be halfway between the two tents but a little bit forward. They curled around each other like a couple of cats because, despite Natasha's claims otherwise, she could get cold, and she _was_ cold. Both of them doing their best not to shiver (but failing just a bit) they fell into a fitful sleep, Natasha using Clint's chest as a pillow and Clint using his rolled-up vest for his. Not the most comfortable for Clint, but they'd been in worst situations.

Sometime around midnight, Natasha was awoken by a shift in the air and she was instantly pointing a gun at the source. Thor held his hands up innocently. "I apologize for waking you, Lady Natasha. I thought that you and the Eye of Hawk might be cold." He did something involving a little _click_ sound and his cape came off. He _fwoosh_ed his cape over them like a blanket and it landed perfectly. For someone Thor's size, it would not have been enough, but for the two assassins curled up to take up the smallest amount of space possible, it was a perfect-sized blanket. Though riddled with a couple of bullet-holes from the day's adventure, it made an excellent blanket. It was heavier than you might think.

Feeling like a little girl, Natasha said "Thank you, Thor." Thor nodded once and made his way back to his tent.

* * *

The next morning, Natasha was awoken by an extremely loud curse from Tony.

_**You can see what happens next time by reviewing to speed up my writing process. Seven reviews and I will update on the day that you meet the goal. Even today if you're up for the challenge. **_

_**Happy New Year's! My RP buddy is gone to Costa Rica for two weeks, so i am sad. :( (But happy for her.)**_

_**Also, my Bday is on January 4! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE (Almost.) **_

_**Love y'all! Bye!  
**_

_**-JoMiSm**_

*That's a reference to Chapter 99 of I Dare You by Shadowsontherun!


	2. Chapter 2

_**Well, when I started writing this chapter I only had four reviews but i'm a nice person so I'll work on it today anyway. BTW, most of that last chapter...was written in 2013. Just gonna throw that out there. And also, it was posted on Jan 1, 2014. :) **_

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Natasha was awoken by a loud curse from Tony. Well, more specifically, he said "ARE YOU [use your imagination]ING KIDDING ME?"

To be fair, there was a good reason. Agent Maria Hill stood in front of them, looking very amused at their little campsite. "Romanoff's backup gear?"

"Yep." Clint replied calmly, though he was still where he'd slept, under an Asgardian's cape.

"SERIOUSLY. HOW DID YOU FIND US?" Tony asked. He was shocked. He'd just spent the night in a tent for _no apparent reason. _

"Chill, Stark. Romanoff and Barton have trackers on them for situations like this. We found out that we'd been hacked about an hour after it happened; it just took us a while to get here." Maria said. She kept the bemused air about her. She may or may not now know that Stark was afraid of spiders. Good to know. Gooood to know.

Taking Maria's advice, Tony 'chilled' a little and quieted his voice. "...so why are we still here and not in a nice, dry, warm building?"

"The man makes a good point." Clint said, standing from his position on the ground. He reached his hand down for Natasha, helping her up just because it was the nice thing to do; she didn't really need it. She took it and stood, folding Thor's cape over her arm until he asked for it.

"Because you're still standing here talking." Maria replied. "Get rid of the evidence that you were here and we can go."

Once the tents were back in their canisters (somehow by the magic of Natasha) and the ashes from the fire were sufficiently smothered and hidden, they were ready to go. One of SHIELD's planes had never been more welcome. The Avengers climbed aboard, sitting thankfully in the warm, warm seats. There were medics aboard, and they positively insisted that everybody wrap up in a blanket and eat something warm. The Campbell's chicken noodle soup served that purpose just fine. (Other soup brands are available.)

Once they got back, they had many funny looks because they all looked a bit worse for the wear, but no one said anything...

* * *

A few _years _later...

"What do you mean, we have to survive out here?" An outraged recruit shouted at her instructor. They were just going to drop them here, in the middle of the damp, freezing woods, with nothing between them but what they'd had on them? HOW COULD THEY DO THAT?

Do you see the any similarities?

Yes, Fury really did make a pop-quiz of sorts on preparedness for the new recruits based upon the unfortunate events from several years earlier. He really did. He may seem cruel-but it would make for some prepared agents in the future.

"You're kidding, right?" A nervous looking young man questioned.

"Not at all." Director Fury said, stepping off of the plane. They all instantly tensed; they hadn't known he was there.

"You can't honestly expect us to-" the girl started again. So what, he was the Director of SHIELD? She didn't want to be abandoned in the woods!

"I can and I will. And don't expect us to come back, either... I might have conveniently lost the coordinates." Fury said. Translation: I'm not coming back. (Which was a lie, but they had to feel alone.)

"You can't do this-!"

"Please, sir, don't-"

"I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS ILLEGAL-!"

Fury held up a hand. Silence, waiting on his decision. "Have fun camping." He said with a wry smile, turning on his heel and going back onto the plane. The three total recruits watched in disbelief as the plane flew away, leaving the group stranded.

Whoever came up with this test was an evil, evil person.

* * *

_**They don't know that the test came to be because of an accident! Yep! I could leave it here if you don't want to know what happens to our three recruits. **_

_**-JoMiSm**_


End file.
